LIFE WITH AUTISM

After the sad realisation that my son Andrew was so challenging in his behaviour, and with severe health problems at home with my wife and mum in law, I had to find a Utopian residential home for Andrew.  I found it in a place called Lorien in Erdington Birmingham, and with help from health employees and social workers, and not to place too much 'thanks' on it, our MP who was so helpful.

Last night, 3/11/2010 having been away for 2 months, despite my regular vists to him, he came home.

The look on his face when he entered the kitchen, opened the cupboard with cereals in and got his favourite bowl out to put them in, I'll never forget as long as I live.

The constant smiles. the cuddles, the eye to eye contact was amazing.  He turned on the charm.  He came home alright, and knew it.  By God did he knew he was home.

His favourite meal, spag bol, his fave drink of Ribena and he was happy, so happy.  I told him several times, tho' I have never known how much, or what he understands, that if he didn't sleep that night I would not have him home again.  ( I was joking of course.) In bed at 21.50 hrs when his mum and I were deadbeat, he went to sleep immediately, and until 2.00am.  His mum got up, covered him up again, and he slept till 6.25am.  Did he understand my comments re' his sleeping?  You tell me. 

I only know when I returned him to his new home this afternoon he did not appear happy.  Nor was I, I hate having to leave him and can only hope he no emotion when I do.  When I left his home his eyes buried themselves in my back.  I hate that, because at that point I know I can never look back at him because it hurts so much.

How I hate what I had to do for all our sakes, and every day that goes by I kick hell out of myself for having had to let him go.  Friends say it's for the best - of who?

Sad Regards

Lawrence.